evolution is sooo boring. "oh, apples taste good because apple trees reproduce more efficiently when herbivores want to eat them"

fuck efficiency. that apple tree loves that deer. that deer loves that apple tree. they're gay. that's why apples taste good

@mcmoots yeah, the audiobook! I have to admit that Robin's soothing voice was in my head helping me write this

@callie interestingly, apples normally taste like fuckshit, to the point where if you were to plant the seeds of a good apple it would most likely grow in to a tree that produces shit apples. Each variety is actually grafted from a single tree that just happened to produce edible fruit. that's how terrible apples are as a species.

@alexlaw fucking rude. my friends and I happen to love fuckshit

@callie i apologize for my rudeness and rescind the fuckshit-eating kinkshaming portion of my toot

@alexlaw and I acknowledge that apple domestication is extremely cool (while maintaining that it is also gay)

@alexlaw @callie This is also one of my fun facts to share with people and the first thing I thought of when reading the post. Lol. Thank you for sharing this. Always a good day for apple facts.

@callie i know this is probably meant to be a pooptoot of sorts, but i keep trying to think of alternate processes that could potentially drive life on other worlds/in fantastical ecosystems, and the idea that love-- not reproduction, but love-- is one of them is real food for thought

@monsterblue i genuinely think it's what drives life on earth too. reproduction is a means for love, not the other way around.

Apples don't taste. They are. Taste is something inside beings that try to eat apples.
Because "primates" are frutivores, they find apples taste good.

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