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gender, seeking book reccs 

howdy howdy

so a friend asked "do I dislike being a woman or do I dislike how women are seen and treated" and then asked for some book reccs for an enby trying to get it sorted. they asked this after i mentioned my experiences with post-toxic-masculinity books like Iron John, but i don't think i've read anything that will fit their needs.

any books come for mind? ty fedi

@georgespolitzer @garbados
-gender trouble by judith butler
-the invention of women by oyèrónkẹ́ oyěwùmí
-sister outsider by audre lorde
-stone butch blues (particularly if they’re queer) by leslie feinberg

this is a good starting point for someone of any gender to read to understand gender theory, esp if they occupy intersections of queerness.

@georgespolitzer @garbados for me, getting a grip on theory helped me unravel my internal feelings. but this might not be the angle that works for them. regardless, these are all 10/10 reads.

re: gender, seeking book reccs 

@garbados I've heard good things about this counselor's gender workbook:

http://queerhealingjourneys.com/dara-hoffman-fox/

I personally wrestled with that same question for a long time, and realized the answer was "both".

I'm a trans man, who hated *how* I was treated as a woman far more than I disliked "being" a woman.

It's not either-or, and trying to rank which one dislikes most might not be the clearest path to figuring things out.

gender, seeking book reccs 

@garbados

My New Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein is a good resource for exploring gender.

re: gender, seeking book reccs 

@garbados I mean, most of what I have in that area is SF. But. I've found SF to be more useful to me than most everything else so far. With CW that Leckie and Wells address some *serious* consent breach, and Carriger is explicit adult material and addresses of some fairly brutal othering. Butler crosses pretty much all the CW lines I can think of over the series, but it was a useful series for me.

Janet Kagan: Hellspark
Usula K. Leguin: Left Hand of Darkness
Ann Leckie: Ancillary Justice (series)
Martha Wells: Any of the Murderbot stuff
G. L (Gail) Carriger: The 5th Gender
Octavia E. Butler: Lilith's Brood
Becky Chambers: A Closed and Common Orbit

I mean, I've been a construct personality/presentation for years specifically to avoid the various -isms that infect cultures generally, so my go-to stuff leans pretty hard non-binary, and just generally non-assumption oriented. So, grain of salt?

And to re-iterate: Serious CWs for Butler and Leckie. Those two bloody hurt to read.

re: gender, seeking book reccs 

@garbados following this because I need those book recommendations (or thoughtful essays, blog posts, etc.), too.

gender, seeking book reccs 

@garbados not necessarily directly related but frankissstein by jeanette winters is a science fiction book where the main character is a trans man/nonbinary person (it's complicated). i think your friend would relate to them.

gender, seeking book reccs 

@garbados Not a first hand recommendation but I've been told by a friend that Stone Butch Blues - Leslie Feinberg was a great read for her, an afab questioning her gender and queerness. I've been meaning to get it myself too!

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