i love meeting new crows.

they've heard the stories about me, who leaves peanuts and never harms a crow, and so they swoop down to the ground thinking they know the deal. breadlady gives peanuts when she sees you, right?

and then she SEES YOU and you're a tiny black bird only so much larger than this giant's hand, and its eyes are TRACKING YOU, its TEETH are SHOWING. the crow thinks OH MY GOD, AM I GOING TO DIE

so they back off to about thirteen feet and i toss them a peanut

eventually crows get up the nerve to feel comfortable at the five foot mark. then they'll look me in the eyes and go "hey"

i have both eyes on the front of my face. that's predator shit


actually my teeth are rarely showing because i wear a mask like a not-a-death-cultist

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